WASHINGTON – Donald Trump recently announced that feces is actually edible. This proclamation does not come with any factual support but Trump Industries has announced plans to unleash a 45-ounce shit-burger on the South’s deep red states. The burger is already in high demand but Jonathan Farkus, of Trump Industries, assures that “the President is so full of brown gold that we can meet the demands of his shit-starved constituents.”
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By Winston Smith, Lead Rectifier