FLORIDA – A Republican woman, Rosemary Sweet, registered an actual douchebag under her name in the State’s Senate race. Surprisingly, the underdog, simply listed on the ballot as Mr. Douche Bag, won in a landslide.
“I just knew this douche was really special,” revealed Ms. Sweet, “and that by expressing my support of Trump, any of my used toiletries could make decisions as well as that handsome man in the White House and way better than any of them libretards out there.”
An unconfirmed source has quoted President Trump as saying, “It’s a great victory for the GOP. Everyone born in the United States should have a fair shot at becoming an elected official. Even a douchebag. This is a great, great, triumph.”
It is unclear whether or not Mr. Trump understood this was in reference to an actual douche or someone he thought was being called a “douchebag.” We are also waiting to hear back from the douche manufacturer to see if, in fact, this douche was made in the US and even eligible to serve in this capacity.
#youcantmakethisup #fakenews #trump #comedy #satire #deephardnews
By Winston Smith, Lead Rectifier