PORTLAND- A mid-40’s Portland, Maine man has recently realized there is nothing for him in the local bar scene anymore. The Generation X poster boy now realizes he can’t find a bathroom he is comfortable in any longer. Millennials have won their battle of Snowflake Dump Takes and every restroom in the parish was deemed gender neutral. The Gen-Xer cited his 30% fart rate per urination as his reason for being uncomfortable. “I used to be able to pop a squirt and fart and make some random joke about it to the guy next to me in the trough,” he confessed. Now, with ladies present the Gen -Xer can’t realize this simple bathroom pleasure.
By Milo the Fish, D&H Staffer
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